A Letter…

Dear Pests,

Be you Pantry Moths, or House Flies. I hate you.

You come into our home, lay your eggs and then let your babies take over our kitchen. Your babies aren’t cute. They are gross and give me the heebie jeebies. I especially don’t like them when I stand on one with bare feet. Or when I wake to find 30 of them crawling over my kitchen floor.

You eat our food, and unfortunately, I think the likelihood is that I have eaten you {insert gagging}. You take up residence in our cupboards and in our food, meaning we have to throw away whole packets that are, apart from your inhabitance, in perfectly good quality.

You make us spend our rare and cherished days off work, fumigating and bleaching the apartment, instead of at the beach relaxing.

Please see this as your eviction notice. We wish you all the best finding alternative residency as long as it is far away from us.

Alice & Emily.

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